I excelled in school until about the 3rd quarter of my 7th grade year. It was then I met my lifelong nemesis and sworn enemy- ALGEBRA! Well, pre-algebra to be exact. It whooped my ass, and did so royally for the next 5 years. I eeked a passing grade out of pre-algebra… emerged from algebra 1 and 2 with an amazingly dismal perception of myself. Geometry and Pre-cal finished me off with a one-two punch. The only claim to fame I have with regards to math is that I found my way to a position in life where I can pawn off the counting, numbers and complex equations to someone else while I bask in the ignorance of my mathematical ineptitude.
Needless to say, the many quoted stats, numbers and projections spewed during the current political campaign may as well have been voiced in Sanskrit. Yes… its utterly confusing and foreign. As I’ve watched the debates, commercials and stump speeches over the last few months, I can often be heard shouting at the television “JUST SAY IT IN ENGLISH”. But no one has heard my plea… until now.
Mitt Romney urged us in the debates to go to his site where his 5-point plan to improve the economy and simplify the tax code is spelled out in easy to read, simple and concise language. So I did. And now like Paul on the road to Damascus… I see the LIGHT!!!
Click here to see for yourself: ROMNEYTAXPLAN.com
TAKEN, the 2008 action film starring Liam Neeson took audiences by surprise. Neeson literally tore Paris apart in an effort to rescue his abducted teenage daughter. Possessing a “set of unique skills” that could only have been gleaned over a career as a super-secret C.I.A. operative, Neeson’s Brian Mills character took a group of seedy underworld, black-market dealing, sex slave wrangling, shit-talking Albanians to task!
Imagine my delight when I learned that a sequel was coming out which promised to be as exciting and as invigorating as the first.
It was not.
In fact, it was no where near. Taken 2 is a classic example of ‘can’t leave well-enough alone’. It’s like one of those SNL skits that starts out with a hilarious montage of people being punched to an infectious electro-pop music beat, that then dissolves into an unpredictable and unnecessary dance scene with zombies! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!
I honestly believe that Taken 2 was actually a secret government plot to lure unsuspecting test subjects to the theater under the guise of watching a blockbuster action flick, when in secret there was actually some hypnotic or mind-controlling mechanism secretly embedded in the flickering images of the film reel, that will one day be activated by some sort of auditory or visual trigger unbeknownst to us all. We’ve been covertly converted into rogue agents of mayhem and destruction.
Sadly, if this hypothesis was in fact true, it would make the money spent on tickets to see Taken 2, worth it!
This year’s BET Hip Hop Awards has been overshadowed by yet another fight (or two) between grown ass, rich dudes with a point to prove about their manhood. This time it was Jezzy and Rick Ross. Last year it was Diddy and Kenny Burns. The year before that Waka Flocka and a BET exec… It goes on and on.
The UFC has made a gazillion dollars off of dudes beating the crap out of each other with a very neat and organized marketing machine behind it. They are currently gearing up for UFC 153 which features one of my favorite MMA stars, Anderson Silva. But 153 marks the actual 153rd UFC battale royale which makes it easy to keep up with how many of these highly lucrative brawls the brand has produced.
That got me to thinking… what if the BET Hip Hop Awards, which have been held in Atlanta for the last 7 years did the same thing. I mean, you already KNOW there’s going to be a fight. Year after year, rapper clique after rapper clique gets involved with a war of words which escalates to shoving, to brawling to well, you know. So why not just grease these dudes up and put them in the ring! Think of how much money THAT would make! I can see it now, BETHHA 7: JEEZY vs. RICK ROSS or BETHHA8: TUPAC’s HOLOGRAM vs. What’s Left of Soulja Boy’s career…
Look at it this way, with the two artists facing off head to head in the ring we can potentially avoid the skirmishes and melees that ensue when over eager crew members start throwing bottles and pulling out pistols – actually, that probably wouldn’t change anything.
She’s gone from poor southern girl to determined journalist to actress to talk show host to media mogul to now… comedienne!
Not since Dave Chappelle’s “Oprah’s Pregnant skit” have we considered Oprah in such a comedic sense. But the iconic O recently showed her funny bone in a sketch with late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel that should not be missed.
The two bantered about the challenges of populating a television network with substantive content before Kimmel showed “behind the scenes footage” of his pitch-meeting with Oprah. With ideas like Oprah herself repossessing her popular giveaways affectionately known as “Oprah’s Favorite Things” or the riotous “Book Club Fight Club”, I think OWN would definitely attract the 19-30 year old male demographic with ease!
We may not see Oprah headline the next “Queens of Comedy Tour” but we may just find her chillin’ in a Juicy Couture, hot pink velour sweatsuit in the front row clowning it up with Shaq and Kevin Hart. #MAYBE?
In 2011, playwright Howard L. Craft premiered the Jade City Chronicles at Little Green Pig Theatre in Durham, NC. It was a smart, funny and complex play about the life and struggles of a super hero. But not just any super hero, this was Herald M.F. Jones, the super spectacular bad ass protector of Jade City.
The play was a huge success and received rave reviews throughout N.C.’c arts community. Frank Stasio, a producer for NPR on North Carolina Public radio attended the show and later contacted Craft about adapting the work to a radio serial format. Herald M.F. Jones ended up not not only saving the day, but making history as well by becoming the first African American superhero serial in radio history!!!
The Jade City Pharaoh is in the final days of a fundraising effort to generate the capital to continue producing the show and you can support! Log on to: www.kickstarter.com/profile/jadecity, and make a pledge today. You can also tune in to episodes of The Jade City Pharaoh and listen online at http://jadecity.webs.com/episodes.htm
Herald M.F. Jones is a bad muthaf……
Rumors of a fake pregnancy scandal have hounded Jay and Beyonce Z since shortly after they appeared on the VMA red carpet in August 2011. Reportedly glowing and showing off her baby bump, the joy was SQUISHED out of the pop diva’s fans’ collective coos when B appeared on an Australian tabloid show a few weeks later and seemingly forgot she was wearing a fake pregnancy prosthetic… I, mean… squished her baby… I mean… What the hell? See the photo after the break… Rumors flew from here to Sydney about whether the Z’s were using a surrogate and just simply toying with fans’ trust and expectations.
The drama continues after an appearance at Jay Z’s Carnegie Hall performance on Feb 6, 2012 at which Beyonce showed no signs of baby weight anywhere on her body. Experts have come forth to claim that with this being her first baby, her youth- and the fact that she never had a baby (oops-did I say that out loud?) have allowed her to have a rapid snap back to her performance bod. (I’m making the face again) 😐
Look, in all seriousness, I could care less what she does, but it is a bit odd to lie about things. Many women have surrogates, in fact they’re currently outsourcing wombs in India right now! Some women do it for health reasons and some for vanity. After all, money can buy you any and everything! I mean, I get it… B makes her living on her voice as well as her looks. If she can afford to have someone have her baby, she keeps her body and keeps the dollars coming in… who am I to hate? But damn, you don’t gotta lie to kick it Craig! #ImJustSayin
Its BLACK HISTORY MONTH… our favorite time of year when we get to learn of all the great contributions made to society by any body other than pilgrims, American Revolutionaries and Ronald Reagan!
Yes, its true. Black people are responsible for just as much cool shit as anybody else, and if you keep your eyes, ears and calendars open this month you can learn all types of fun things! I know some people like to protest the fact that BHM lands in February, the shortest and arguably most misleading -spelling to pronuniciation- month in the year. But don’t get it twisted, its not some secret plot to undermine African American contributions to society. February was chosen by Carter G. Woodson because two of Black America’s heroes were both born in February- Frederick Douglass and the undisputed champ for black people’s rights…(ahem) Abraham Lincoln. Ok, Brother Woodson was stretching a bit on that last one, but hey that was like 400 years ago (or something).
Anyway, we take our Black History seriously at The 15 Project, because let’s be honest, as a black artist… there is a lot of work around this time of year. I ain’t tripping. After all February + income tax time is like an annual economic bailout for a brother who kinda went H.A.M. on some after Christmas sales (you’re welcome Capital One).
Anyway, there is lots of information you can fill your head with this month that’s sure to make you the center of attention at all the cocktail parties and Cultural Center soirees you’ll be invited to over the next 28 days. Plus, with this being a leap year, you get one whole extra day to do something EXTRA BLACK like; go to a baptist church, buy something from West End or Greenbriar Mall, eat at a Soul Food Restaurant or my personal favorite – watch the PBS rebroadcast of Roots!
But seriously though, whatever you do this month, remember that Black History is more than Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Civil Rights movement. Black History is not just past, but also present and future. Ask the elders in your family to tell your THEIR stories. Fix something that you see is broken in your community. Do something selfless. But most of all move in excellence, you never know who’s watching!
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH