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Posts tagged “Mitt Romney

Bank on it…

I excelled in school until about the 3rd quarter of my 7th grade year. It was then I met my lifelong nemesis and sworn enemy- ALGEBRA! Well, pre-algebra to be exact. It whooped my ass, and did so royally for the next 5 years. I eeked a passing grade out of pre-algebra… emerged from algebra 1 and 2 with an amazingly dismal perception of myself. Geometry and Pre-cal finished me off with a one-two punch. The only claim to fame I have with regards to math is that I found my way to a position in life where I can pawn off the counting, numbers and complex equations to someone else while I bask in the ignorance of my mathematical ineptitude.

Needless to say, the many quoted stats, numbers and projections spewed during the current political campaign may as well have been voiced in Sanskrit. Yes… its utterly confusing and foreign. As I’ve watched the debates, commercials and stump speeches over the last few months, I can often be heard shouting at the television “JUST SAY IT IN ENGLISH”. But no one has heard my plea… until now.

Mitt Romney urged us in the debates to go to his site where his 5-point plan to improve the economy and simplify the tax code is spelled out in easy to read, simple and concise language. So I did. And now like Paul on the road to Damascus… I see the LIGHT!!!

Click here to see for yourself: ROMNEYTAXPLAN.com

 

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Win some… Lose some

For the last 20 hours or so, media outlet’s everywhere have hotly contested whether President Barack Obama or Republican hopeful, Mitt Romney, won last night’s first presidential debate. But the real question lingers on… What the HOLY HELL happened to Al Sharpton???

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My lawd! In real life, he looks like his head has been photoshopped on somebody else’s body! Weight loss be damned… Is he melting? In fact my first thought was that he must be seriously ill. But his clearly cosmetic grill suggests otherwise. His teeth look like muppet teeth! They are so perfectly aligned that if you make a quick glance it’s almost as though he has like one marble tooth that spans his entire upper and lower jaw.

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How anyone can have any conversations today without questioning the good reverend’s dramatic cosmetic alterations escapes me. Let’s see the pundits take this on!