Dear Janelle Monae…
Please forgive this diversion from my usual straight-laced and professional journalistic engagement with you. But since many of you were there when I told you of my fated meeting with one, Ms. Janelle Monae, I figured I could share this, the next chapter in our saga. I wrote the following letter to my celebrity-crush, Janelle Monae, moments after learning about her new tour with Bruno Mars and Mayer Hawthorne.
How are you baby? I hope you are well. It’s been a while since we had some face time. Like, almost a year now. But I still remember it like it was yesterday… I was sitting in the lounge of that hotel, drinking a jack and coke awaiting the debut of your album. I, like the rest of the guests in the room, was still bugging off of how dope of a song Tightrope is. We were all eagerly waiting for that tune to drop when you came over and stood next to me. I being the suave gentleman I am, graciously offered you my seat. We stood there in silence, nodding in time to the rapturous music spilling from the speakers. When Tight Rope came on, you moved to the dance floor to “do your thing”. I again, being a courteous fellow, stood back and allowed you to dance with your adoring fans. Later in the evening, I thanked you for your contribution and sharing your artistry and imagination with us all. You responded with your own gratitude, thanking me. You told all those present that they should get to know me and that you were and admirer of my work.
Then our eyes met. There, between us was a mutual adoration, a je ne sais quoi. It was then, more than ever that I felt our connection. I imagined us whisking away to an island together where I would paint masterpieces of your pompidou and you would write sonatas about my gumby. I foresaw our children frolicking around in Colonel Sanders’ style bowties and black and white saddle oxfords. We would tightrope walk from here to eternity… Oh what a lovely vision.
Alas, this is still but a dream. My previous letters, phone calls, texts, emails, smoke signals, hand signs and telepathic communications have all gone unanswered. I know you’ve been busy touring, as have I. But I don’t want us to lose that magic we had. I’ve been wandering these NEON VALLEY STREETS, down trodden and heartbroken. Return to my life and let’s make NEON GUMBO.
Congratulations on all of your successes and for making such a big impact on the world of music. You are like JEM… Truly, truly, truly OUTRAGEOUS!
I eagerly await your response and hope that very soon, we can take this love affair to the next level.
Ya’ll support my baby! Her new tour with Bruno Mars kicks off in NY on May 4th. Tickets go on sale February 17th! for more info click HERE.