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Michelle Obama pregnant… and it ain’t mine

Baby Gate

Ok, so as I scour the internet for news and topics of interest to appear here on The 15 Project blog, naturally “OBAMA PREGNANCY” would catch my attention. Not because I’m afraid of some paternal obligation (lawd KNOWS it aint mine) but frankly how cool would it be for a baby Obama to be born in the White House. Let’s imagine this scenario for a minute…

We all know how Americans are about their ‘family values’. And nothing says American family like a bouncing, brown baby boy.

The Obama baby would most certainly create jobs. Think about it. There’s the OB-GYN, a couple nurses, at least one nanny… Ok.. ok so that doesn’t help everyone, but maybe YOU shouldn’t just be thinking about YOURSELF.

Imagine the media spin. They could go for months speculating if Barack is in fact the father. I mean after all when would he have had time to “lay” with his wife, what with him saving the world, the economy, the ozone, beer summits with insignificant idiots, ducking tea partiers, dodging elbows on the ball courts an so on and so forth. I mean, sure black men are virile- but he is human after all and there is really only one tried and true way for two people to make a baby. Wait… what? Oh… sorry in vitro I didn’t see you standing over there.

So say the media concedes and accepts Brother President as the father… well we can be sure the guest list for the baby shower will make for some exciting media fodder. Let’s see who’s attending. There’s of course Jay and Beyonce-Z. I mean they get invited to everything ANYONE is having. Shit, I’m planning on inviting them to a few events myself just to make my events look official. I think Oprah would be there. Maybe the shower would be broadcast on her new network. I have a feeling George and Laura’s invite will get lost in the mail along with Yeezy’s. Bill and Hilary would be in the house, along with the President of China who has probably been promised Obama’s next-born to help repay America’s debt. Since the Salahi’s are so adept at infiltrating White House events, their invite will list a fake location in the hopes of throwing them off the scent.

Every baby product in the world would be trying to get Obama-fied. What better spokesperson for your baby product than Michelle and baby Obama? This baby will be laced with the latest in green and eco-friendly baby stuff including wind-powered strollers, hemp pacifiers or this new compostable baby diaper.

Sadly all of this is just conjecture. The rumors of a potential Obama pregnancy have been vehemently denied by the White House officials. Some even citing the purported dangers of a 46-year-old Michelle Obama giving birth, like there aren’t hundreds if not thousands of older women giving birth every day. Sure there are some risks, but Michelle Obama is not a 46 year woman in poor health or substandard living conditions. She’s the first-lady and most certainly has access to the best prenatal care our tax dollars can buy. I guess it was all a dream, like Biggie said (for now), but there’s still some time before the Obama campaign will need a “push” to ignite voters. Until then we’ll keep our Obama baby HOPE alive!

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